My Peppermill - 2015

          Last year was peppered by rather unusual events in my life. Nothing life threatening or life altering but they were unusual. Unusual enough for me to write about it. UNUSUAL GOOD THINGS AND NOT SO GOOD THINGS. Unusual enough to surprise me and shake me up a bit. I refer to that partly as getting older! It was as soon as I turned 40, it was like a switch being turned on. Physically, I could see some numbers churning up, emotionally some moments taking a steep dive. Every single time this happened, I wish I could say I handled it with grace and dignity. But sadly, I cannot say that. I had reacted in the most basic way. I went off the deep end of worry, discouragement and eventually anger. Every single time. Thought of every worst case scenario, vocalized my fears to my close circle, lived and breathed in fear, second guessed every choice and was devastated at the possibility of things never turning around. I was astounded how easily I could let myself  be shaken like that. I dug myself some logical reasoning  and some justified excuses and called them my pitfalls. Anger was my vent....Sarcasm, my shield.

             In younger years past, I had imagined myself to face such moments with courage and Faith in God. Indeed, I did, many, many times, turn to God in Fear not Faith.  I prayed like there was no tomorrow. God was so gracious in restoring peace to my shocked, simple life. He held me up and steadied my walk and yet I would let go of His mighty hand and slip and fall. I thank God for my husband. If not for God and my husband, I'd be a mess. Both took turns and kept me going.

              As another year starts, I am not looking forward to roses but more of reality. But I resolve to put my Faith into action, read my Bible and be rooted in Christ. As soon as I say that, I snicker because this was how I started my last year. But like I said, I worship a gracious, forgiving God who smiles down on me and says "it's ok, child. You can try again and I will be with you every step of the way."

Thank you, Jesus.

Thank you for the hope I have in you. Thank you for the Faith I can count on you and thank you for allowing me to falter so I can try again with you. Here's to another year of God's grace and mercy, to experience in my life and to impart in others' lives.

When I reread my post, there is nothing significant to 'saying something in Indian' about all of this. oh well, but a girl can write from her heart!