A few months ago,
a US Presidential candidate was called out for using the woman card! Remember
that? I pondered over why there was such a furor and wondered what kind of a
card I use? I am a woman. Do I use the woman card??? Then it came to me, I have
been using the ‘Indian woman’ card. That is the standard I stick to. The
adjective for the term would change on a daily basis. It will range from the
paranoid Indian woman to the angry Indian woman and everything you can think of
in between. When you can’t escape it, embrace it and USE it.
Boy!
Have I done that. Ask my kids. This is a typical day in the life of my 2 kids.
“What? A cellphone in 6th grade? I was 28 when I got my first
cellphone in India”, “do you know what happens in India if you talk back to your
parents? When I was in India……, “You are lucky you are not in an Indian school
right now”…. So there you have it, a bit of a blackmail and a bit of a putting
life in perspective. Or when it comes to explaining that taking an exam in
India is writing pages and pages of answers in 3 hours and not filling bubbles
in a scantron.
Ask
my husband when I reminisce those nostalgic moments of “when we were in India,
or if we were in India, or when we have this desire to eat a vadai and drink cup of piping hot tea from a pettikadai around
the corner or the craving for a dosai for dinner or would just like to drop in
on our parents or attend a wedding just to eat biriyani……
There are times when I am doing
what I do best, talking about India with my friends when I whip out this card
and go to town until I begin to see very obvious signs of boredom from the
person I am engaged in conversation. There was once a yawn! And yes, I did call
the person out on it and I totally threw the blame on my origin. Here is a sample…..“Personal space? What is
that?” or “Parking lots, green lawns, side walks, date night for parents? We
don’t have that” or “Women empowerment in India is not the same as feminism
here”- It is just the basic survival technique there and not a fight for equal
rights here. Women wearing jeans and driving a car is still a sign of super
modern advancement in India and yet a given here. I can use my card to explain
my difference from the rest of my American friends and can conveniently use it
to buffer my ignorance as well. I have gotten good at it in the few years I
have lived here.
Or
even when I am by myself, when I compare and contrast the 2 different cultures
I live with, I wonder about my place in a country where I am an immigrant. I
will always look Indian in the eyes of my onlookers. So I will just use my
Indian woman card and flaunt it every which way. It is used proudly and never
as an excuse. It is used to prove my worth as a woman who has
transcended/transcending the cultural differences and yet holds her head high
in moments of utter embarrassment. “It is a learning curve” is such an American
term that totally fit my agenda for the past 14 years here. Still learning to
maneuver the curve. Keep driving but drive slowly in the curve.
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