I just wrapped up ten years of teaching. For those of you who go,” just 10?” Yep! I started late. Not by choice but that’s another story.
I did not work for the first fifteen years of my life in the US. My prime was spent cooking, cleaning and carpooling. Hindsight 20/20? Maybe. Now I work with people from the next generation who are ever so polite but just cannot find the right wavelength to engage me in a conversation. And so life goes.
In the last 10 years, finding my footing in the education world has been quite the journey as you can or cannot imagine. When you think you will find your footing with your first step on the sidewalk and you place the next foot down to steady yourself, it could surprise you that the very rock you stepped on was already quite wobbly. Suddenly the space between the sidewalk and your face was very little. But you whip up, and take the next step. One foot in front of the other. Just carefully this time.
I don’t think I’ve given myself enough credit for finding the gumption to start teaching in a country that I did not grow up in. I don’t know where that courage came from. Definitely not from within me. But as life would have it, one foot in front of the other, was always the way. I don’t think I have prayed harder for anything else other than for my children. But pray, I did, every day for sanity, a modified version of the serenity prayer but this time it was for wisdom to know the difference between sanity and adamance.
Were there moments I wanted to quit? Absolutely. Several times a day. But when the going got tough, I dug in, just out of sheer adamance and refused to quit. I am glad I hung on for the ride. The ride included teaching suburban kids and kids from all over the world. The ride also included Covid, teaching remote and hybrid thru the next years that spun us on our heads and the phone reliant years that followed up to now. The ride also included the joy of watching my students grow into adults which made it worth the while.
I cannot pretend that it got easier. There were a few persistent hurdles like the microaggressions and subtle reminders of me being an immigrant. There was the ever present parental and spousal guilt of working long hours, planning and grading at home. The tremendous exhaustion when you get home that leads to years of inactivity and eroding muscle strength. The everyday stress to draw on the physical and emotional strength to show up for the students and the drain when you actually muster the energy to. But when the days looked up, they made my heart content.
Joy and passion can use some help getting there but overall, there is contentment.
I am sure it happens to all walks of life and to all people who work but I just find the need to write about me having worked 10 years and proud of it, that is all.
